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I tried to forget
And move on
But you stayed in the back of my mind
Fiddling with my heart strings
And exploring my emotions
It's hard to focus
When that little voice always tells you what to do
The choices to choose
You just never go away
What a burden you are
But don't leave me
For you bring me comfort
Yet a painful memory as well
But although you torture me
And play me like a puppet
I still can't imagine life without such a tragedy
Such a mistake you were
But I shall carry you with me wherever I go
For the rest of my days
Forever and ever
What a burden you are
What a tragedy
What a mistake
What have you done to me
You terrible soul.
Above the hills
And beyond the sea
Past the abandoned windmills
That whisper to me.
There lies a secret
Only those who die can keep
Of a nightmare bullet
As scarring as the sea is deep.
The farther you go
The more you search
You will encounter a crow
A watchman on his perch.
Larger than most but smaller than few
With eyes of a sinner
Me, he looks right through
As nightfall rests on his feathers.
As the darkness of night
Transcends to early morning
He begins his dawn flight
All the while sending warning.
As I venture on through the muck and the fog
I proceed with caution
As my eyes rest on a figure beyond the bog
The memory my speech gets lost in.
As I approach the image grows clearer
A house of light
Grows ever nearer
I feel my heart speeding up and my throat become tight.
Sitting in the unforgiving December air
I lost my step- the house has taken it's freeze
Much like me, frost has stolen the life from the trees
The house and me, what a pair!
As my body grows heavy
What's the point in falling for someone who is clearly not ready to catch you?
I mean, I do understand that they hold their arms out for you to fall into
But are you really that gullible to trust them?
Don't get me wrong,
I've fallen for that trick several times
In fact, I'm just recovering from a fall
Well, at least I'm TRYING to recover
It seems to me that every single time I am on the road to recovery,
Someone or something gets in my way and distracts me
And that's the problem
I am so easily distracted
Distracted and gullible
But at times I also feel as though I am blind
I never look ahead and warn myself
I know what is going to happen to myself if I keep on trusting strangers so easily
My heart is going to end up broken
And my eyes will end up sore from all of the late night crying sessions
Sometimes I wish that I could just disappear
I wish that I could vanish
Go somewhere where there is complete silence
So there is nothing to hear
I could cry all I wanted to
And no one would ever know
I could scream in pain as loud as I would like
And there would be nothing anyone could do
Questioning my very own existence
Comparing my myself to others
And look out onto the distance
At times I feel depressed, sad and lonely
For no apparent reason
Like I have some form of hypophrenia
I should learn how to take life slow
And just go with the seasons
Why does it seem like my life is harder than everyone elses?
Why does God put me through this?
It seems kind of selfish
No one else besides me knows this
But when I look in the mirror, I feel disgusted
I can't help but see the one thing I lucked out on
And those simple times th
For Someone New
For Someone New~
Have you ever loved someone who could never be yours?
And no matter what you did he would just look right through you?
Story of my life
It always seems that no matter what I do
Or what I say
I'll never be good enough for him
I see him flirting with other girls
And I see him with his girlfriend
He's a completely different person when he's with them
He seems happy
I don't know if it's just me
But am I the only one that notices that sparkle in his eye?
I try so hard not to cry when I think about him
I literally have to hold back the tears between every class period
I hate knowing that I'll never get to hold your hand
I hate knowing that if I hugged you, you would push me away
And I absolutely despise the fact that you barely even notice me
Especially when I know every move that you make
Is it that hard?
That hard just to talk to me?
It really pains me to see you walk away when I'm speaking to you
I know I am not as pretty
Or as exciting as *her
But I was really hoping tha
Everything I Have Done
Everything I Have Done~
I had a terrible past
Everyday I would wake up
Wondering what the lastest drama on me was
I would always try to hide
You know, fade in the background?
Well that seemed nearly impossible
Every step i took
Someone was there ridiculing me
Only one person knows how ashamed I am of everything I have done
I can trust her with my life
I can trust her with my mistakes
I can trust her with my past
But mostly, I can trust knowing that she will never tell him the things I told her
She knows he made me cry
She knows he made me scream in pain
Because she witnessed all of that
She knows everything
I loved him so much
I would have done absolutely anything just to get him to notice me
But the problem was
I did exactley that
Anything and everything
If I had know before what kind of damage he would have caused me
I would not have even bothered to look twice at him
But that's where I'm lying
Of course I would have wasted my time on him
And of course I still would have l
The life you lead is unspoken
Write the words for the pages unwritten
You are the only one that can control what your future holds
Make the one who broke your heart beg to have you to come back
Don't hold a grudge
But let them know that their chances are fat
If your life was taken in snapshots
What would it look like?
Would you be proud of your past?
Or would you wish that you had taken your life to a whole new height?
Were you fearless?
Did you love even though you knew he would never be yours,
Or did you let the other monster have him,
While you got whatever was left
Make your presence memorable
And let your personality shine out luminously
Don't let others tell you what to do
And keep your promises as if you were sworn to secrecy
Raise your head high and keep it there proudly
Don't look down on others
Because when they are alone
They just might cry about it quietly
Who cares about your weight?
If someone judges you on that
Then they aren't worth your time anyway
So Did You
So Did You~
· "I'm sorry."
· That phrase has been abused and tossed around way too many times
· Not everybody realizes how valuable its meaning is
· Although it's only two words
· The story behind it is much greater than its size
· Some people just spit it out like its nothing
· But if you use it wrong
· It could take the victim months of healing
· I know you had no intention of hurting me
· You barely noticed we were drifting further apart
· And that left me drowning in the sea
· At times I forgot how to swim
· And it felt like the world stopped turning
· I have to learn how to get along without you
· And I have to find a way to stop hurting
· Every time I see you
· It brings back a flood of emotions
· I don't know whether to laugh or cry
· Or to go lie down and let time pass me by
· I can't count how many times I have wanted to run away and hide
· It's hard to find someone who wil
Middle Of Nowhere
Middle Of Nowhere~
· "Take my hand and close your eyes."
· I asked him where we were going
· But he said it was a surprise
· I could smell the salt of the ocean in the distance
· And ran my hand against a cherry wood tree
· I could feel the cool wind of the night
· And hear the gentle waves of the sea
· I tried to picture where we could be
· But nothing seemed familiar
· I had no idea where we were
· He held my hand to guide me safely
· Whispering in my ears
· Giving me directions and saying he loved me
· I felt myself blush
· And I giggled way too loudly
· Normally, that laugh would have been to quiet,
· But, wherever we were,
· The slightest whisper broke the silence
· He held me by the waist
· And brushed back my hair
· Kissed me gently
· And positioned me on a chair
· "Don't peek." He commanded me
· As impatient as I was
· I managed not to see
· I felt s
confession you are all i ever wish,i ever dream
you are all I ever desire,from my passion flames
you can create and start a fire...but will turn you in cold
and my heart is still " in hold"...
I wish you will be still mine,i make mistakes
if you are not by my side...
I could not breath-feeling the past-my heart is on hold
but my love will ever last,and if tomorrow strarts without me...
Can you feel the lost...can you even see?...
with the sadness-I change my mind- that the love i need
I will never fin
I BrokeI Broke
I broke last night.
I couldn't fight
the pain inside
and I lost my pride.
I fell into tears,
giving way to my fears.
Wondering if he'd stay
or if today was the day
when things went from bad
to worse; to make me sad.
I began to lose hope
and through pain couldn't cope.
Everyone thinks I'm being a goof,
but pain comes along and *poof*.
Down came my wall
as I began to fall
into the depths of despair
and there is no hope there.
No longer knowing what to do,
I prayed that it was true,
that God's promise will reign
and there will be an end to this pain,
that things will be alright
even in the night.
PainUnbearable down to the last bone,
This body I don't want to call home,
I am not feeling alright this way,
I am not happy or feeling okay,
I am in pain and always feeling under,
I feel like my body is torn asunder,
So tired, I want to open my eyes,
My muscles feel bound by weights and ties,
So sick, in pain, and tired aside,
I want so badly to erase this I cried,
All I want to do is sleep my days away,
To keep my feelings left at bay,
Not just the mental but the physical state,
This body of mine, I am starting to hate,
The way I feel is becoming a stain,
I feel I will forever be in pain.
AnankeI have come to confess
When I lay in darkness
I can't find any rest
For the pain in my chest
I still see you in chains
The blood boils in my veins
The lust shines in my eyes
Your Hell: my Paradise!
At the end of daylight
When I pray for delight
I watch in the fire
My only desire
All my senses aflame
At the thought of your name
Will soon drive me insane
I must meet you again!
See me down on my knees
I am begging you, please
Let me caress your skin
Taste the pleasure of sin
But your heart is so kind
And so dark is my mind
So cursed is my passion
My own self-destruction
And your eyes...
Tormenting my heart
And your cry...
Tearing me apart
And your voice...
Enchanting my ears
And your words...
Awaking my tears
And your face...
Corrupting my soul
And your fate...
Inciting my fall
My emotions seem all out of order
and it's like I'm on the border
of anger and sadness.
This is pure madness.
I can't control how I feel
when this pain is so real.
I can't seem to shake
the memories that keep me awake
all through the night.
I pray that things will be alright.
Maybe I'm just hormonal,
but this doesn't seem that normal.
I want to be able to smile
and stay joyful for a while.
Trust is also an issue for me;
loyalty seems like something I can't see.
In God I have faith
that my heart is safe
although it's not anywhere near whole
and loneliness is taking its tole.
Yet, despite these emotions,
God's love is wider than all oceans
and I know that one day I can feel love
like God's above.
El pensar del pensamiento.Pensar antes de pensar,
porque los pensamientos influyen en nuestro sentir,
que influye a la vez a nuestro corazón,
el corazón a la personalidad,
la personalidad en el carácter,
el carácter en nuestra razón y
... la razón en nuestra acción.
Mr.Barman (drunk)Hey Mr. Barman
Sing me a song
Sing about why i an in here
Even though none of us really know
Is already high night
Do not be so harsh
That would make me feel so right
It does not need to rhyme
It does not need not be to seen nice
Just drink some wine
And join me in the chooooooooooooooooooooorus
She does not needs to have assonance
Sense , dignified , verses
You just need to treat her weeeeeeeeeeeellllllll
It does not needs no me-lody
Makeup, dresses, voice
She is already perfect
Be my friend
Promises are emptylooking away
my heart is pained
why do they go away?
I want them to stay
confusion in my head
snakes inside my stomach
the light of the day is fading
storms keep rolling by
squinting for something to hold on too
as it slowly dissapears
promises are empty
the speed of the brain is slow
mixing and matching the patterns
I can understand why it would seem too hard
feet that keep walking
fists that keep punching
mouth that keeps slowly stretching into a smile
smile, smile for me!
please, dont leave me
dont you know what happens when I'm all alone?
slowly strumming the guitar sadly
to the movement of your emptiness
· He saw me cry on the last day
· I bet he thought it was because everyone was going away
· But secretly inside myself I was yelling,
· "Don't do this to me!"
· "Don't leave."
· Every time I see him
· It's like the gigantic hole in my chest disappears
· But the second he turns around
· I wish he was now near
· The hole somehow finds its way back
· Through all of the tears
· There's a lump in my throat
· That I just can't seem to swallow
· I try to scream
· But my voice just sounds hollow
· It feels like there is acid
· All throughout my body
· Every payer I prayed was for you
· Every start I wished upon was about you
· And every tear I shed was because of you
· You were never forgotten
· Oh honey, you were never ONCE forgotten
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More